a stranger is rambling

hello stranger

2005-04-26T00:07:00.000-07:00

it's one of those days when you encounter yourself
memory - such a fragile thing. so delicate that one would feel like
having to protect it by hiding it. one would not want to share them
because it is his and his alone. but slowly, my memories run from
me. but i don't want to lose them.. my memories... this who i am.

life is like a box of chocolates... you'll never know what
you're getting... i hear this cliche too often that i don't
seem to be able to grasp it anymore. but today i got to
distinguish my chocolates.
there are some chocolates that you just put into your
mouth passively.. they satisfy you to a certain extent,
but they don't really leave an aftertaste, an you don't
actually end up yearning for them again. but there are
some chocolates however that leave a certain taste...
the day after... you would look for the chocolate again
for another taste...... you just can't get enough of this
chocolate.
people are like chocolates... some come to your life and
you see them passively. if they are gone, you would not
really notice. neither would you care... however... there
are people who enter our lives and change it...... people
who don't have to make an effort to be of value. people
who, just by being themselves, become part of our most
valuable memories. these people are special.... we savor
their presence an we yearn for it continuously.
today i remember my chocolates. those who seemed to
be bitter at first, but ended up the sweetest. those who
i chewed rather unappreciatively.. but realizing later how
they taste so good. those who left a stain on my shirt...
my intergrity, my illusions of security, my illusion of love.
those who made me forget everything else.... those who
tasted like milk and those with hints of coffee; the more
innocent chocolates and the beautiful darkened ones.....
here's to all the chocolates in my life, old and new. never
change your flavors.... or else you'll break my poor aching
little heart.
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i want to keep remembering. but my mind fails me... i don't know
why. bless the pen. bless the keyboard. bless writing. i don't need
to forget. i don't want to forget. to whoever is concerned, the man
above. i know not your name, but you know mine. remember me.
i fear not death. this child has but one fear - being forgotten

rain...

2005-04-18T20:19:00.000-07:00

Your element is Rain: Sad, lonely, distant and unique. You are quite distant from emotion and
people, but you have been made this way by one thing or another. You are truly unique yet fail
to see it, and are quite creative be it in art, music, writing, ect.. You used to let people in, but
now, you don't even bother to try - having been hurt so many times in the past. Your attitude
is that you don't need anyone but yourself, people are just trouble waiting to happen. But
you really do want to trust someone no matter if you see it or not, deep down your waiting
for someone to come and set you free. This kind of depression can turn dangerous, don't let
them get to you. Not everyone in the world will hurt you, humans are humans and are not
perfect. So most likely sooner or later you'll meet someone who feels like you do and perhaps
your shell will eventually disappear.
______________________________________

blabber...

yes i realize that i am quite distant and indifferent but it is definitely not out of mistrust.

hmmm.. I agree with the element though.. rain.. i love the rain. it used to make me very happy as a child. when i was younger, my parents wouldn't let me come out and play with the neighbor kids. they said i would get dirty like them. i always stayed inside the house, looking through my window, envying those playing outside. then, i used to wish that it would rain. i wanted them to run to their homes and stop playing because of the rain. i wanted them to peep outside their windows too, hoping that the rain would stop. i did not want to be the only kid who was... alone. i wanted them to be alone in their houses too. the rain was my friend. the rain assured me that i was not the only kid who could not go outside and play.

the rain was also my first lover. i remember writing poems about the rain when i was yet in my elementary years. all those poems are lost now though.. raindrops were the first that i welcomed to caress my body head to foot(literally). soft, cold and light touches. the rain used to make me feel loved. as a boy, i would run outside the house if my parents weren't home and run around under the rain. i would throw my arms up in the air and stare at the rain clouds, blinking as raindrops would kiss my eyes. i would smile at my invisible lover and just keep facing up at it. i would laugh, i would sing, i would dance. i was a fool. but i was a happy fool.

my drenched clothes would stick to the contours of my body. my yaya used to say i looked like an angel clothed in the silk of heaven. i was young. bitter and lonely. cynical. but the rain never failed to make me smile. it never failed to make me feel loved. it made me happy.

but the rain... it stopped loving me one day.

but that is a subject for another day...

for the lack of it

2005-04-04T01:56:00.000-07:00

You Are Incredibly Logical

(You got 100% of the questions right)

Move over Spock - you're the new master of logic
You think rationally, clearly, and quickly.
A seasoned problem solver, your mind is like a computer!

How Logical Are You?

___________________________________________________________________

wahahah...i dont want to fill this blog with just these silly online tests. But they never fail to give me some degree of enjoyment. especially when results just boost your ego. *points up* wahahaha! take that Mr.Alibata!!( i was given a midterm grade of 2.7 for my logic classby my teacher who marks his signiture with alibata!) :P

___________________________________________________________________

anyway, yesterday i watched the film "the final cut". It was rather entertaining and to a certain degree thought provoking. i am planning to write a review on that one. depends on my mood if i actually get my writer's trance. that only happens once in a purplish-blue moon...>_<

it's a film about life; guilt, memories, truthfulness, meaning... it's one of those movies that mix "what if" science with philosophies on life. And as expected, the main character dies after reaching his climactic realization of his truth and the resolve of his guilt. equally predictable, the film is "wittily" entitled "the final cut" as the final rememory (sort of short film remembering the diseased with a chip implant on his brain) was that of the main character, robin williams. i'd give it 8.5 stars.. :D

maybe i'll write a real review on it. but it'll have to wait for its turn on my TO DO list. it's now eighteen and a half meters long. LoL

i end here. off i go. Hey! you heard the guy! MOVE OVER SPOCK! i'm taking over. wahahaha *is insane*

not happy shakes head

2005-03-31T02:14:00.000-08:00

You are 87% Libra

well i simply refuse to conform to this astrological order. i find no logic in the idea that celestial entities affect my behavior and very personality. it simply slaps my illusion of freewill in a world where people are subject to the laws of physics and cannot fly like birds because of the law of gravity. i am my own person and i am how i am because i choose to be so... okay, maybe i just can't accept not being 100% libra... but looking at it in a proud angle, I deviate from the expected. I'm not your average libran. yes, i'm a rebel to the cosmos. I refuse to follow the ways of those born on late september and october (librans). I end here... i'm getting predictable.
*is dizzy and needs to sleep O_O*

You Are A Hazelnut Tree

You're a charmer with a killer sense of humor.

You are very demanding, but you can also be very understanding.

No matter what, you always make a lasting impression - you're quite popular.

Passionate, you are an active fighter for social causes and politics.

In general, you are moody, honest, a perfectionist, and very sexual.

gosh... this is 90% accurate! *is creeped out*
everything is true except the part where it says i'm honest... LoL
i have finally found my calling. i want to be a druid and master this "celtic horoscope thing"... but that will have to go against my 2002 new year's resolution not to try occult stuff anymore... but heck, i haven't made my 2005 resolution yet. now i formally declare my 2005 resolution to be not to be bound by any resolutions anymore.. (including this one? ) eeek! syntax error... bwahahaha *is crazy O_O*

a stranger is rambling

hello stranger

rain...

for the lack of it

not happy *shakes head*

not happy shakes head